What is Enough?

Does anyone else struggle with this concept? How do we know what enough is?

• What is enough time spent cleaning and keeping the house in order?
• What is enough time spent playing with your child/children and encouraging their development?
• What is enough time spent reading to them?
• When have you taken enough pictures of your child/children and spent enough time documenting their lives?
• What is enough time spent documenting your own life?
• What is enough time spent reading the scriptures or conference talks?
• What is enough worrying about any given situation?
• How do you know when you've said enough or when more talking is appropriate?
• What is enough time spent exercising?
• What is enough time spent relaxing and rejuvenating?
• What is enough effort spent beautifying your home?
• What is enough time spent in the kitchen creating that meal that may or may not be good enough?
• What is enough time spent planning out that perfect couponing trip?
• How do you know when you've had enough to eat?
  
• What is enough time spent doing things that you enjoy?
• What is enough time spent doing things for your spouse?
• What is enough social time?
• What is enough time spent with family?
• What is enough time spent alone?

The list could go on. Life is such a balancing act. Often times for me it seems that the trivial mundane things in life take precedence over things that are of greater importance to me, leaving little time or energy for them. I've noticed this struggle to find a balance in my life increase as I've become a mother and as my roles in life have evolved.

Before Landon was born, I had visions of being the perfect stay at home mom: meticulously clean house, great dinners every night, house decorated just right, having so much time on my hands to spend playing and oohing and awing over Landon, getting my body right down to my "ideal" weight because of all that time on my hands to spend exercising and eating right, having ample time to spend reading, blogging, and doing nice things for Brad....Since then of course reality has set in. And figuring out what is enough has remained a dilemma for me.

I love being a mom. Landon has brought more joy to me than I could have ever imagined. Along with being a mom comes a great responsibility. I find myself spending a lot of time feeling guilty. I feel guilty if I am working around the house doing dishes, couponing (hauling Landon around town for this new hobby), getting ready (an extra helping of guilt if I take time to shave my legs or tweeze my eyebrows) or what not and not paying a lot of attention to Landon. I feel like I am never doing enough to help him develop. On the other hand I feel guilty if I am just sitting and playing with Landon and not having much to show for my time spent in that activity: dishes still in the sink, no time logged on the treadmill, no particular achievement to report to Brad.

Of course Landon is WAY more important to me than having a clean house and being in good shape and printing out great coupons. So why do I feel guilty about any time spent oohing and awing over him? And why can't I feel okay that reality is that I just can't spend a lot of time oohing and awing over him? It's a darned if you do, darned if you don't kind of thing (pardon my language:). So I am in search of the right balance of what is enough. Have any of you found it? If so I will pay you for the answer:)

Right now I can tell that I did not get enough sleep last night so I am going to shut my eyes for 15 minutes until Landon wakes up from his morning nap:).

...What is enough time spent getting this post to publish! grrr...there goes my time for a catnap.

9 Months Old

Landon turned 9 months old last Saturday. I can't believe how quickly he is growing up! He is such a joy to us and we just can't get enough of him. I mean, who wouldn't want to smooch those cute little cheeks all day long?! He doesn't seem to mind:)

He is now rolling all over the place. Definitely time to baby-proof! It seems as though any time I leave the room briefly I'll come back and he'll be caught in some corner or wrapped around the leg of a chair a few feet away from where I had left him. I had gotten so used to his immobility that I am surprised each time. Gotta keep an eye on this mischief maker! :)

Hey, what's that cool thing in your hand? I want it!

Love that zany look:)

Too cute! I love how he's holding his daddy's hand. I can't believe they are both mine! I'm one lucky girl.

April Happenings

April turned out to be fun and busy. Here are some of the fun things we got to do in April:

* Brad and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on April 6th. It's hard to believe we've been married that long already! Time flies when you're having fun:) We celebrated by getting Johnny Carino's to Go. Exciting, I know:)

* Brad took the Fundamentals of Engineering Exam. He feels like he did well so it's good to have that over with!

* Landon and I spent a few days at my parents' house in Idaho Falls. We had a great time and I took advantage of some free babysitting:)

*We all got to spend Easter weekend at Brad's parents' home, which was a fun getaway. Landon loved being entertained by his cousin, Madeline.

*Landon had another round of ear infections. Poor kid! It took me a while to figure out why he wasn't sleeping well. He seems to be feeling a lot better now and (thankfully) is starting to be a good sleeper again.

Here are some pictures from our April adventures:

My Mom gave Landon a little hair trim while we were visiting. He wasn't too fond of the clippers.

A little traumatic, but the results were cuteness!

Landon loved playing with this in I.F. He also loved chillin' with my cousin, Shawn.
Landon loves Grandma and Grandpa Roper! They spoil him with lots of love (and toys:))

Easter Sunday

Landon loves pulling the blanket down over his head. He can't figure out how to pull it back off, but he doesn't seem to mind chillin' under the blanket for a bit. Funny kid!
I'm cute and I know it!


I love sitting in my high chair!
Look what a good eater I am! The messier the better.
The spit up on my shirt adds character!

I know this was a lot of pictures, but seeing how I didn't blog for over a month, I have a lot. Don't worry, there are more that will be posted in the next couple of days because Landon is 9 months old and that deserves a separate posting:)

It didn't work out, but it's okay

Last week it became apparent that the job I had been preparing for was turning into a much bigger commitment than we wanted or needed. Basically, what my bosses expected and needed from me had evolved over time. It could be a long essay if I explain the whole situation. As a mutual decision, we agreed that it would be best to cut our losses and part ways before they put more time and money into me. It ended on a positive note and I am so grateful for that. I think we all had an understanding that things have a way of evolving when opening a new business.

It has been stressful, but I don't regret the time and effort I put into preparing for this job. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and gained a lot of knowledge that I can put to use when I am ready to start working with clients as a personal trainer. Also, I feel like now that I have had a taste of what it is like to be a working mom, I more fully appreciate staying home with Landon.

So even though it took me a couple of days of going back and forth to come to the conclusion that it was not going to work out, once I made the decision and followed through with it I felt at peace about the whole situation. I don't know why we have to learn things the hard way sometimes, but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right?!

Sorry to toot my own horn, but...

I'm just too excited! Last Monday I took the ACE personal trainer certification exam and...I passed! It's nice to have that behind me. I've spent a LOT of time studying and preparing for this exam over the last few months. I'm glad to not have to worry about it anymore. Now I just need to finish getting trained by Angela and hopefully I'll be running the workouts here within the next few weeks. Yeah! It's been a process, but hopefully it will pay off!

Seeing how Brad is a cheese-head, he's in a very good mood after today's game. Go Pack Go!!

Our little eater

I forgot to give an update after the six month check-up Landon had last Monday. The doctor said that he seems to be healthy and thriving. He said that Landon has eczema so he told me to use some hydrocortisone cream to get it under control and told me some creams etc. that would help. The worst patch of irritated skin that I've noticed is on his face. I always have to keep his nails short or else he'll scratch it up. It must itch.

He also checked out his eyes and ears since he had been sick. His eyes are still goopy, but he said they are not infected. His ears looked great.

Here are his stats:
Height: 26.5 inches (50th percentile)
Weight: 15 lbs. 13 oz. (25th percentile)

I was a little surprised that he didn't weigh more than this. It stressed me out a little. The doctor said that continuing to add in more solids to his diet should help and that Landon will let me know if he wants to eat more often. The doctor didn't seem too worried, but he basically said that we don't want to see him fall any further in the growth chart percentiles (he was in the 75th % at 2 months, then 50th % at 4 months). For my own peace of mind I've decided to make some changes to Landon's routine (I follow a pretty flexible routine, but it helps me know generally what to plan on). This week I've tightened his schedule back up to eating every 3- 3.5 hours during the day instead of every 3.5- 4 hours. That way I can fit his usual five feedings into my waking hours (instead of one in the middle of the night). Since I've done that he's slept through the night a few times which has been nice. The reason I had let his feedings spread out in the first place was because it seemed like it fit better with his naps and sleeping patterns, and he didn't seem to mind. And it seemed like once I started letting him take longer naps he learned how to sleep for longer periods of time, including nighttime. But now it seems like the new routine is working just fine with his current sleeping patterns. I guess babies are always changing, right?! So I'm trying to not beat myself up too much for his slow weight gain, but I'm going to keep feeding him at least 5 times per day (more if he seems hungry) until his 9 month check-up to see if that helps. Anyway, sorry to bore ya'll with trivial details. I'm good at that!

We added sweet potatoes and baby oatmeal to Landon's diet this week. He loved both of them! I think sweet potatoes seem to be his favorite so far. I'm a little confused...do you feed the solids before you nurse or do you wait until after? Any pointers and advice would be great!

Oh, I was wondering if anyone elses babies do this...the last month or so Landon reaches up and plays with my mouth, nose, face, neck, jewelry, hair, most of the time that he's nursing. It's cute and funny, but it sure makes it harder to read or study while I'm nursing:)

Here are some pictures of our kiddo's eating and playing adventures last week. He's not quite so messy now that he's had a little more practice:)

I love sweet potatoes!!
So much to look at!


His 6 month birthday dinner. I added the prunes because, well, the rice cereal alone seems to take a long time to process if you know what I mean:) I love it when he tries to help me!